THE COST OF BEING RIGHT: WHY REAL LEADERS LET GO OF THE LAST WORD

Everyone loves being right.

You feel it... that small surge of pride when your plan works, when your advice lands, when the facts back you up.

But leadership isn’t about being right. Leadership is about moving forward. And sometimes, the price of “winning” an argument, proving a point, or clinging to the last word is higher than most people realize.

The Real Cost of Being Right

In leadership, whether it’s business, policy, or life, the need to be right can drag down the very thing you’re trying to build. When leaders prioritize being right:

• Creativity stalls.

• People disengage.

• Teams stop speaking up.

• Problems go unaddressed.

The room gets quieter, not because there’s no good thinking left, but because everyone knows their ideas won’t matter.

Leaders who need to be right end up standing alone.

What Letting Go Looks Like

Letting go of being right doesn’t mean being passive. It doesn’t mean rolling over. It means choosing a different goal.

You don’t win by proving you know more. You win by creating an environment where the best ideas win, even if they aren’t yours. Sometimes that means:

• Listening longer than feels comfortable.

• Letting the younger, less experienced team member take the lead.

• Accepting that a different strategy might be better, even if it wasn’t your idea.

Real leadership shifts the focus from "Who’s right?" to "What’s right?"

The Hardest Moments to Step Back

The moments when it matters most to let go are the moments when it’s hardest:

• When you’re under pressure.

• When your reputation is on the line.

• When you know you could "win" the argument if you pushed harder.

Those are the moments that separate leaders from managers. A manager defends their ground. A leader opens new ground for others to step into.

Lessons from Healthcare

In policy work, I’ve seen the same dynamic. You can be right on the facts, on costs, on risks, on outcomes, and still lose the broader battle because you didn’t bring people with you. I’ve worked on healthcare reform issues where the data was ironclad. But data alone doesn’t change minds. People do. You can hammer away with stats and projections, but if you can’t listen, if you can’t adjust to the concerns in the room, you lose the room.

Real influence isn’t about being the smartest. It’s about being the most willing to listen, adapt, and meet people where they are.

How It Shows Up on the Track

Racing doesn’t care about your ego. On the track, your opinion doesn’t matter. You can’t negotiate with lap times. You can’t argue your way out of a spin. You either adapt or you fall behind. Racing humbles you. It teaches you, fast, that stubbornness doesn’t win. Flexibility does.

The best drivers I know don’t just drive fast. They adapt fast. They read the track. They adjust to the tires. They tune to the weather. They aren’t married to the first idea they had coming into the weekend.

Leadership is the same. The conditions change. The team changes. The goals shift. If you’re stuck on needing to be right, you’re slow. And in racing and life, slow loses.

What It Takes

Letting go of being right requires:

• Confidence—enough to admit when you’re wrong.

• Vision—to stay focused on the bigger goal.

• Humility—to recognize better ideas.

It’s not easy. It’s not natural. But it’s necessary.

Because when you let go of the need to be right, you gain something better:

• Real trust.

• Stronger teams.

• Smarter outcomes.

People trust leaders who listen. They follow leaders who adapt. They don’t follow leaders who insist on having the last word.

Leadership That Lasts

Being right feels good in the moment. But leadership that lasts isn’t built on moments. It’s built on momentum. Momentum comes from humility. From flexibility. From knowing that letting go of being right is what makes space for everyone else to step up. It’s what turns a good team into a great one. It’s what separates leaders who fade away from those who leave a mark.

Because at the end of the day, leadership isn’t about being remembered for having all the answers. It’s about being remembered for creating a space where the answers got better, because you knew when to step aside and let them.

Real leadership is measured by what happens when you stop talking.

Let the work speak. Let the team rise. Let the best ideas win.